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POLITICAL VICTORY
IS BITTERSWEET
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I did it. Many said it couldn't be done, but I did it. After
countless hours and days of political arguments and discussions, I managed
to change someone's mind.
As everyone knows, that's not an easy thing to do in this
ridiculously polarized environment. But it doesn't stop people from trying,
no matter which side you're on.
I'd like to introduce you to my conquest. His name is Norman,
and he was once an ardent Trump supporter. Until, that is, he fell
under the barrage of my eloquent and powerful liberal ideology. If you're a
Trump supporter, don't fret. You may have lost one of your own, but my
success shows you that converts can come your way as well.
I've known Norman for many, many years. He's a very close
friend, and we've always had our political differences. So when he came by,
with a mask that he once belittled, to tell me that he had finally seen the
light, I have to admit I was surprised.
"You've been an arch right-wing conservative for as long
as I've known you," I said. "What changed? Was it because I called
you a stupid ignoramus for supporting a narcissistic sociopath for
President?"
He stepped 10 feet away to be extraordinarily safe, and still
didn't take off his mask. Very unusual behavior for Norm, who has always
minimized the impact of the coronavirus, but I appreciated it. He let out a
long sigh, and simply admitted he was defeated.
"You were right, and I was wrong," he softly said.
"I just stepped back and thought long and hard about what you've said,
especially over the last few months, and realized that I was going down the
wrong path. I can't believe I supported that disaster of a President for as
long as I did."
I was so proud of myself. I continued to grill him as to what
finally prompted him to change his mind. "Was it that New York Times
article, or maybe the one from The Atlantic?" I thought about the
multitude of liberal propaganda I had sent him over time. I had received
just as much crap from him, spouting conservative propaganda, but there was
a difference. I won.
"It was a little bit of everything," he replied.
"You just wore me down with your logic, your compassion, and your
common sense. I'm getting rid of all my guns, and I'm voting for Biden."
"You're getting rid of all your guns?" I asked,
incredulous. "Even your AK-47?"
"Yep," he replied. "And I'm having them all
melted down so they can't be used again. You've convinced me that gun
control makes all the sense in the world. "
"And national health insurance?" I asked, still
reeling. "Do you still think it will bankrupt the country and that
government has no business regulating our health care?"
"Not anymore," he answered, solemnly nodding.
"I've seen the error in my thinking. If I can love Medicare so much,
why not extend it to all citizens. You're right about that, too."
This was fantastic news. All those hours arguing with Norm was
finally paying off. I always knew he had it in him. It was only a matter of
bombarding him with information and balanced, logical discourse. Finally,
victory was mine.
I thought about all the other conservative, gun-toting,
Trump-loving people I knew. If I could be successful turning Norm, there's
no reason I wouldn't eventually be able to turn the others. All that was
needed were more logical arguments, more articles, more information and
statistics. Just like Norm, they'd see the light.
People could indeed change their minds. All those hours and
days arguing and discussing politics with the other side wasn't a waste of
time after all.
I had the biggest smile on my face. I rolled over and sleepily
said to my wife, "Norm is going to vote for Biden. He's one of us
now."
She rolled even farther over. "You're dreaming," she
said. "Go to sleep."
And what a fine dream it was.
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