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SOMETIMES YOU CAN
COME HOME AGAIN |
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My wife and I have been empty nesters for about 14 years now.
I vividly remember when the last child left home for college. It was so
traumatic.
People would ask me how long it took me to adjust to having
no children in the house. I would sigh, remembering the trauma, before
replying. "About 30 minutes."
So, needless to say, I was less than enthused when our
daughter asked if I would consider her moving back in, along with her
husband and their four year old and six year old, while they did an
extensive remodel of their house.
This was at a family dinner a few months ago. "It would
only be for about a year or so," she said sweetly. "We'd
save a ton of money."
As a caring and passionate father, I wasn't proud of my
response. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!"
I wasn't counting on the tears. That definitely helped her
case, but I was still nowhere close to agreeing. I patiently explained
that I didn't know how many years I had left, and I have very fond
feelings for my empty nest.
Meanwhile, my wife had other ideas. Both of us had to agree,
and my daughter had won half the battle. My wife likes people around all
the time, and I don't. I like my solitude. She hates solitude.
Over the next few months, I naturally softened, like the wimp
I am. There was no pressure, other than the memory of those tears. And
knowing that our granddaughters were four and six definitely helped. At
least they had a minimal understanding of rules. If they were one and
three, it would have been a complete deal breaker.
There's a good chance I can keep the little ones from
tormenting me. We have two downstairs bedrooms, and a playroom with a
television. With planning and a little luck, I'd see them only at meals.
And they are kind of cute. I'll probably like seeing them go
off to school in the morning, especially when I don't have to get them
dressed or prepare their lunches. Just a hug and a kiss goodbye. I
might enjoy that.
"I'm warming to the idea," I told my wife about a
month ago. "I think I can survive."
"It will be fun," she replied, giving me a hard pat
on the back. "You'll still be able to watch your football games in
peace."
I wasn't so sure. I was fairly confident I could keep the
kids downstairs, and my daughter and wife have no interest in sports and
would definitely leave me alone. But that left one wild card.
THE SON-IN-LAW!!
Let me be perfectly clear. I love my son-in-law. He has a
great attitude towards life, he's a wonderful husband and father, and
we're lucky to have him as part of the family.
That doesn't mean I want to be around him all of the time.
Fortunately, I know him well enough to put down some strict
rules. I talked to him about it, he agreed, and my capitulation was
complete.
"Okay, I'm on board," I said to my wife last month.
"Bring on the chaos."
She was happy, my daughter and son-in-law were happy, the
little granddaughters were happy, and I was petrified.
But I had my rules. They move in next week, and we'll see how
it goes. We had our first test a couple of days ago, when my son-in-law
brought some of the kids' clothes over in advance of the big move.
I was all alone, watching Monday Night Football. He dropped
the clothes off in the downstairs bedroom and climbed the stairs to find
me happily watching the game.
He's a sports fan, but not a big football fan. So he started
yapping about some inane subject of which I had no interest. I politely
listened for a moment, and then remembered what we had agreed to in our
negotiations that would allow him to spend a year in my house.
"You sure it's okay if I say it," I politely asked.
He remembered, too. "Yep, go ahead. I can take it."
I turned back to the game and said the words that might make
it all work: "Shut up and get out of my face."
And off he went, smiling. |
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