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FIGURING OUT WHAT
YOU'RE WORTH |
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I came home the other night and immediately asked my wife the
question that had been on my mind the entire day. "How much do you
think I'm worth by the hour?"
Needless to say, she wasn't in a big hurry to answer.
"Take out the garbage and I'll think about it," she responded.
Not a problem, although I wasn't sure if that was going to
factor into her deliberations. When I returned from emptying the trash, I
asked her again. "So?"
"Before I give my answer, why do you want to know?"
she asked.
That was fair. So I explained to her that I had spent the day
talking to a couple of attorneys that were recommended to me for estate
planning, as well as a plumber (who had nothing to do with estate
planning). All of them worked by the hour, and they had determined what
they were worth.
The first attorney, a very nice lady, casually let me know
that her hourly rate was $790. No one is that nice. I resisted the urge to
say "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" and instead thanked her for
her time and said I'd get back to her.
When the second attorney said his hourly rate was $625, it
felt like I had hit the jackpot. And when you start thinking that $625 an
hour is a bargain, you know something is seriously wrong.
It has always fascinated me how much some professions charge
by the hour. I have long felt that no one is worth $700 an hour. Yet
senior partners in prestigious law firms are charging as much as $1800 per
hour, and clients continue to pay.
Not me. My $625 per hour guy (I'm swallowing hard as I write
this) will have to do. I just hope he talks fast. And forget any
pleasantries---small talk is out of the question. I'll give him the info,
and he'd better be good. There's plenty of $300 per hour lawyers eager to
take his place. They might be half as good, and probably half as fast, but
they're out there.
Still thinking that no one is worth what some lawyers are
charging, I called a couple of plumbers for another problem. They were
also billing by the hour, and both of their rates were exactly the
same---$180 per hour.
I didn't flinch, but I wanted to. I like plumbers. They've
come in handy many times over the years, solving problems that I certainly
couldn't solve myself. But $180 per hour? Really?
It comes down to a matter of perspective. There is
considerable opposition to raising the federal minimum wage to $15 per
hour. It currently stands at $7.25 per hour, unchanged since 2009.
$790 for an attorney, $180 for a plumber, and $15 for
hard-working cooks, dishwashers, retail clerks and many others who
currently work in businesses such as mine. What's wrong with that picture?
"So what did you decide," I asked my wife again
after I told her about my day. "What should I be charging per
hour?"
"Well, you graduated from law school, so you have a
professional degree," she began. "And you've been in business
for over 40 years, so you have plenty of experience."
I liked the way it was going. I never took the bar exam, but
I had plenty of knowledge. And my years in business had to be valuable to
someone. I was beginning to see my new future as a ridiculously overpaid
consultant.
She was clearly calculating numbers in her head. Finally, she
offered her conclusion. "I'm thinking $42.50 per hour."
"THAT'S INSULTING!" I bellowed. "I've got to
be worth more than that!"
"Maybe," she replied. "But so are all the
people that work for minimum wage. You get what the market will
bear."
She had a point. Since no one had ever asked me to consult on
anything, the price for my services wasn't exactly going through the roof.
And meanwhile, plumbers and lawyers were in hot demand. Unfortunately.
"OK, I get it," I said. "I'll take the $42.50.
I actually thought you might have me in the twenty-something range, so I'm
secretly relieved."
"Glad to hear it," she said, patting my $42.50 per
hour arm. "So what am I worth?"
I should have known that was coming. I racked my $42.50 per
hour brain and came up with the perfect $42.50 per hour answer, proving
once again that I should be hired.
"Priceless," I answered. "Absolutely
priceless." |
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