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A LIST WE CAN
ALL DISAGREE WITH
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For those of us who are in a more advanced stage of life,
meaning old farts, it's common to complain about the technological advances
of the past 30 years or so.
Life was so much simpler in the old days. The technological
revolution has complicated everything. Many of us long for no
internet, no cell phones, no artificial intelligence (once we figure out
what it is), no digital information technology.
Give us a newspaper we can hold in our hands, the evening news
on television, a blockbuster movie in the theaters, a pen and paper and
maybe a typewriter, and we'll be happy. It was all so simple then.
Then again, there's nothing wrong with a little progress. While
I can live without Alexa, and can survive without the internet, there's been
a few innovations that I can no longer live without.
Everyone will have their own list, but without further ado,
here are the five inventions that I refuse to give up, in order of
importance:
5. FASTRAK. Even though they're not very good at
spelling, this 1993 innovation changed my life for the better. I still get a
good feeling every time I blast through the toll gates and hear that little
beep. No longer do I wait in a line, fumbling for the correct amount. It
feels like a free pass, even though it isn't. Brilliant.
4. THE TELEVISION PAUSE BUTTON. Total game changer.
Phone rings at an epic moment, no problem. Pause the television and time
stands still. Sick of commercials during a football game? Pause, do some
reading, continue and fast forward through the ads. Grandkid needs his
diaper changed? He can wait.
3. BACK UP CAMERA AND BEEPER ON CARS. Body shop business
must be down 50 %, and pedestrian injuries about the same since these came
on the scene. Only 3 of 278 models had the cameras when they were introduced
in 2003. By 2018, they were mandatory on all models, as were the beepers.
Try driving a car without the camera or beeper, as I did recently. It felt
like the dark ages.
2. GPS. How the heck did we ever find our way to places
in the old days? I remember MapQuest, which debuted in 1996, where we
printed out the directions. That was helpful. Before that, I suppose
we were just perpetually lost. Now we have Google Maps, or Waze, and a nice
woman steers us to where we want to go. While I occasionally
have heated arguments with her, she's right 99% of the time. And when she
is, I'm always grateful.
1. FLASHLIGHT ON SMARTPHONES. Who cares what else
the Smartphone can do? Not everyone will agree, but this may be the handiest
tool ever invented, and it didn't take a genius to come up with it. Can't
read the fine print, need to peer into a small space, can't see your way
through a dark room? BAM! Your phone comes to your rescue. Of course, you
have to have it handy when the need arises, but if you have a Smartphone,
it's usually close by. That's the good and the bad.
So those are my five top inventions of the last 30 years.
I would suspect that I'm the only person on the planet that would pick that
Top Five. Feel free to pick your own choices, many of which will probably
have more historical significance than mine. I can handle it.
As an added bonus, though, I will present a new invention that
might have made my Top Five if some car company had implemented it before I
made my choices. But no company, as far as I know, has yet stepped up to the
plate, so it remains relatively unknown.
It's the Friendly Horn. You can't just give a gentle tap to
your car horn---nothing will happen. You have to pound it, and that's not a
very nice sound when you only want to let the knucklehead at a stop light to
stop looking at his phone and move. Or when you're outside and you want your
partner to know you're still waiting.
You need a Friendly Horn. A quick beep-beep. Maybe your own custom sound.
Prevent an accident with your regular horn. Let them know you're angry with
your regular horn. But use your kinder, gentler horn when you just want
attention.
That could definitely make the Top Five next time around. And
Elon Musk can just send me a check.
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