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CHILDREN CAN SOMETIMES
COME IN HANDY
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I remember it vividly. It was about 34 years ago and I was
lying on the couch watching a sporting event on television. My first child
was about 2 1/2 years old, and she was buzzing around doing things 2 1/2
year olds do.
It had been a wonderful two and a half years of changing
diapers, soothing her in the middle of the night, and catering to her every
whim. Like all babies and toddlers, the world revolved around her, which is
the way it should be. But it couldn't last forever.
As I watched her, I decided it might be time. I was very
comfortable on the couch, and didn't want to get up. And since I was
watching a sporting event, it seemed only natural to be accompanied by a
libation.
"Can you get Daddy a beer?" I cautiously asked.
Her little eyes widened with the realization that she
understood exactly what I meant. And my eyes widened as she made a beeline
for the refrigerator, grabbed a beer and scooted back to the couch to hand
it to me. Finally, after two and a half years of complete servitude, the
tide was beginning to turn.
I distinctly remember pumping my fist in the air and saying only one
word: "Payback!"
I was thinking about that moment quite a bit in the last month.
That's because the last month not only included Christmas, but it also
included my wife's birthday. Few mortals can handle buying presents for both
occasions, but I was up for the job.
"Have you done your Christmas shopping yet?" asked a
friend about four days before Christmas.
"Just finished it up this morning," I happily
responded. "I called my daughter and gave her the budget."
Payback. For all the worries, all the drama, and all the
expense of having children, there can be advantages, too. This was one of
them, and it's a big one.
I hate shopping and I have horrible taste. My daughter loves
shopping and has impeccable taste. We make a great team.
It wasn't always this way. I used to do the birthday and
Christmas shopping all by myself, and it was generally a disaster. I would
pick something out that was either impractical or unfashionable, and it
would be promptly returned. But not anymore.
Since my daughter took over, there has been nothing but joy
from my gift recipients. I accept all the gratitude without reservation,
since I was at least partially responsible for her being on this Earth, and
more importantly, I paid her back with cold, hard cash.
Sometimes I even give her an idea of what to buy, at least in a
general category. That can be exhausting. Fortunately, she usually talks me
out of it.
That's good, because I like to be surprised when my gift
recipient opens her presents from me. I "ooh" and "ahh"
with everyone else in the room as the present is opened, my anticipation at
a fever pitch as the wrapping is torn off. I can't wait to see what I
purchased.
Payback from children can come in many forms. Some parents may
not get much, if any, at all. Some may have to wait until they're very old,
and benevolent children turn the tables and take care of them until the day
they pass.
For me, I just take it where I can get it. A phone call for no
reason, some help with the dishes, maybe a hug and term of endearment. Those
are all good, but having a daughter do my shopping for me is tops on the
list.
"I don't have time to wrap the Christmas presents this
year," she said to me on Christmas Eve. "I'll drop them off and
you'll have to wrap them yourself."
Shocking. All those years I cared for her. Changed her diapers,
fed her, clothed her, drove her everywhere. And now she was making me wrap
the presents I had her buy for me to give to others. How rude.
"No problem," I replied, quickly realizing once again
what a good thing I had going. "I'm happy to help."
I'm a terrible wrapper, but there were two good things that
came out of it. One, the people who got my gifts would know I put my
personal touch on the present, considering the messy wrapping job. And two,
the presents were already in gift boxes, so I couldn't see what was inside.
Yep, I didn't ruin the surprise.
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